A Long Time Coming
by Scurvy Cur
Summary: An original take on how Severus Snape came to be who he is. Rated R for later chapters. Please R&R.
1. Inception

"I can't, Snape. I'm in class!"  
  
"I don't care how you do it, just get here." Lena sighed heavily, fogging up the glass face of the mirror into which she was peering. Inside, a very disturbed (and a very young) Severus Snape sat, cradling his throbbing head in his hand and staring at the floor. Then, as an afterthought, or perhaps more of a plea, he turned his obsidian eyes upon her and she knew that this must be serious. Never had Snape allowed such emotion to be displayed to anyone, let alone a woman. "I need you."  
  
"Fine. Give me fifteen minutes to get out of here and find someplace to disapparate. In front of Malkin's shop?"  
  
"Yes that's fine. Fifteen minutes, then." Slowly his image faded away into the glass and Lena was left to find a way out of Reeder Hall, where she was currently supposed to be taking a Mythology Exam. She checked her watch. Five minutes to two. Hopefully Professor Edwards was already inside the classroom and she wouldn't encounter him on the way out.  
  
She gathered up her things, shoved the enchanted mirror into her bookbag, and swung out from the recess in the wall and into the hallway traffic, of which there was very little. There was no way she would be able to blend into the crowd if she did happen to encounter the good professor on her way out the door.  
  
She was just about to round the last corner, and the front door was in sight, when who should happen around the corner but Professor Edwards. Damn him. He had impeccable timing. Thinking quickly, Lena pulled the hood of her black sweatshirt up over her head and turned to "read" the flyers that were posted on the message board in front of her. As she "read" she whispered a quick invisibility charm to render her so uninteresting that Professor Edwards would never even think of looking twice at her. When the threat had passed and the Professor was safely around the corner and on his way to administer the test she hiked up her bookbag on her shoulder and flew out the door.  
  
The subsequent walk to her dorm room was spent trying to think of an excuse that would be acceptable for missing a test. Mother ill? No, her mother had been ill two weeks ago when Lena had needed an excuse to go see the Grateful Dead play in Haight Ashbery. Grandparent dead? No, all of her grandparents had died more than once since she had started attending classes at Pepperdine. This was definitely bad. This little favor that Snape needed was going to cost her a big fat F on her first test of the semester and she hoped, for his sake, that it was something damn important that was causing him to act so irresponsible.  
  
Once in her room she tossed her bag on her unmade bed, undressed, threw on a set of robes and a traveling cloak - it was sure to be a bit colder in Diagon Alley than it was here on the Pacific Ocean - and with a pop, disappeared into thin air.  
  
She turned up a few seconds later in front of Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions and looked around. Diagon Alley was busy today. No doubt the witches and wizards that bustled around her were doing some shopping for the impending holidays. Her own mother used to start the day after Christmas when everything was on sale at drastically reduced prices. Yet, for all the life and activity around her there appeared to be no Severus Snape.  
  
She was just getting ready to go to Florean's and order a sundae when she felt a sharp tug on her elbow and she was being pulled away, down a dingy and deserted alleyway. Under normal circumstances she would have been highly concerned, but the smell of cinnamon was heavy in the air and she knew that that could only mean one thing.  
  
"That's no way to escort a lady, Severus," she said as he released her and she turned to face him. Diagon Alley was bustling by about a hundred feet behind him through a narrow window that was the end of the alleyway, and she got the distinct impression that there was something just as lively going on behind her, though she cared not to turn and see what it was. The walls that rose on either side of them were damp and moldy, and the air smelled like old cheese. Or socks. She wrinkled her nose and wrapped her arms around herself protectively, rubbing her biceps for warmth.  
  
"She's gone. She's left me."  
  
"Left you?" Lena went suddenly still, her eyes wide and her mouth open in disbelief. She looked as if someone had just dropped the H Bomb and she had watched them push the button. "What do you mean she's left you, Severus?"  
  
"She's gone! Gone, Lena. She wants nothing to do with me." He was now the one with his arms wrapped around himself and he was staring at the ground, kicking pebbles with the pointed toe of his black leather shoe.  
  
"It can't be! What happened Severus? You two have been inseparable since the fourth year! You gave her a rock the size of bloody Gibraltar! It can't just be - over."  
  
"Well, it is. And apparently Gibraltar wasn't big enough, because she gave it back." He produced from the vast expanse of black robes that covered him a princess cut diamond in a platinum setting. It was the most beautiful ring Lena had ever seen.  
  
"Well, that's an insult," she said, taking the ring from his pale palm and examining it closely. "I helped you pick that big bastard out." Though she could see in his face that he didn't want to laugh, he was having trouble stifling the halfhearted smile that was tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I don't suppose you'd like to let me have it instead," she asked, taking the ring and biting it between her top and bottom teeth, pretending to check for authenticity.  
  
"No," he answered, suddenly serious again. He took the ring from her teeth, brushing her lips with his bony fingers as he did. "We're going to get rid of it. I got a letter from Professor Dumbledore this morning. He wants to see me. And when I arrive the first thing I plan to do is to throw this big bastard, as you so eloquently put it, into the lake. Maybe one of the merwomen would enjoy it instead."  
  
"I see," Lena answered, looking at the ground again. "What does Professor Dumbledore want to see you about?"  
  
"I don't know, but it's not really Professor anymore. It's Headmaster now. I was hoping it would be the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. He always knew how I wanted to teach that class."  
  
"Well, tell him hello for me." She pawed at the ground with her left foot, not wanting to ask what she really wanted to ask.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous. You're coming with me."  
  
She looked up at him then, her eyes alight. "Really?"  
  
"No, you daft cow. I'm just saying that to get you all excited because I take great pleasure in dashing your hopes and dreams on the rocks of my bad attitude."  
  
Her mouth hung open and it was quite clear that she didn't know what to say.  
  
"Of course you're coming with me."  
  
"Then what are we doing down this disgusting alleyway?"  
  
"You've got to be kidding me. Miranda has been sending her henchmen out to spy on me all day. I don't want them going back and telling her what I'm up to. If Dumbledore wants to see me for what I hope he wants to see me for, then I've got a chance to disappear from her world altogether, which is exactly what I want to do."  
  
"Fine. So, what are we doing down this alleyway again?"  
  
"Disapparating in private."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"Ready then?"  
  
"Hang on." Lena ran up the alleyway and turned the corner, leaving Snape to wait for her in the alleyway. She returned ten minutes later with a package from Madam Malkin's.  
  
"What's that," Severus asked, pointing at the package which was wrapped in nondescript brown paper and tied with nondescript brown string.  
  
"Just a little something I picked up for Dumbledore."  
  
"Very well. Set?"  
  
"Set." And with a smile and a pop between them they were gone. 


	2. His Fate Sealed

"So he just-" Lena stopped to belch out a loud hiccup before continuing. "- just gave you the job? Just like that?" She stared across the table at The Three Broomsticks in rapt anticipation, thoroughly drunk and forcing Severus to relive his conversation with the new Headmaster for the third time that evening.  
  
"Not just like that, Astrid, but more or less."  
  
Lena wrinkled her nose and shook a shaky finger in his face. "You know I hate my first time. Lena. Leeeee-naaaaaarrrrhhhhh. Call me by my middle name." She finished chastising him and went back to the shot of Ogden's old Firewhiskey, which was sitting in front of her. Snape sipped his butterbeer and watched with a mixture of embarrassment and amazement as she took the shot, raised the glass above her head, and let out what was supposed to be a whoop and what turned out more like a slurred growl.  
  
"More whiskey! And a butterbeer for the new professor!"  
  
"Lena, please stop drawing attention to us."  
  
"Howcome you're being such a shitstain? Huh? You just got a brand new job. You get to disappear right out from under Miranda's nose. You threw Gibraltar to the merpeople for fuck's sake, Snape. Live a little. Quit making me do it all for you!" Madam Rosmerta appeared beside them with another shot of whiskey and a fresh bottle of butterbeer. She attempted to set it in front of Snape but he refused it, indicating that he still had half a bottle left. Rosmerta attempted then to take it back but Lena stretched out a shaky hand and took it instead.  
  
When Snape and Rosmerta both gave her an appraising, one-eyebrow-raised look, she screwed up her face and asked them, "What? I finished my chaser. Need a new one." Rosmerta just shook her head and walked back to the bar muttering something about never seeing a woman with a gut for alcohol like that, but Snape set down his butterbeer and reached across the table taking her hand.  
  
"Finish this shot and then we're going to go."  
  
"What? Why? It's not even - arghhh, hold on -" Lena pulled up the sleeve of her black robe and checked her muggle watch. "It's not even eleven o'clock yet, Snape. What're you going to do, turn into a pumpkin?" She let out a great bellow of laughter at her own cleverness, drawing even more attention to them as she did. Snape threw a few apologetic looks around the barroom before turning back to her.  
  
"Perhaps I will. Now hurry and finish your shot."  
  
"Fine." She took the shot, made a face as if she were about to be sick, and then gulped half the butterbeer that had been placed before her.  
  
Severus, for all intents and purposes, had to carry his friend back up to the castle. One of her arms was thrown over his shoulders and she appeared to be walking on her own, but she was dead weight in her drunken stupor and Snape was glad he had chosen a woman who could pass for anorexic as a drinking buddy this evening. Of course, the entire walk to the castle was punctuated by a slurred and very off key rendition of "Mull of Kintyre".  
  
Once they were back at the castle he left her on the front steps in the company of Minerva McGonagall while he went and collected his room assignment and password from the Headmaster.  
  
"You drank far too much tonight, Miss Erikson." The old witch fiddled with her robes while she attempted to look as though she was highly disenchanted with having to babysit her former student. But a thin smile was playing with the edges of her mouth, and though she would never have admitted it to anyone, Lena reminded her a bit of herself at that age.  
  
"Horseshit." Lena immediately put her hand to her mouth and gave her former Head of House an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so-"  
  
"Never mind. Tell me, Miss Erikson, what have you been up to since you graduated here?"  
  
Lena became suddenly very animated. She related to Minerva how she had gone to Pepperdine to study Psychology and how she had graduated with a four-year degree in three years. Then she went into a full-blown account of her current graduate studies and how she planned to go to British Columbia to get her PhD. Minerva was quite interested in hearing about muggle Psychology, as there was really no wizarding parallel, and she listened with well masked enthusiasm as her old student told her all about life after Hogwarts.  
  
"And are you seeing anyone?" The old witch tried to slip the question in without sounding as if she cared, but she failed miserably.  
  
The question, however, did not have the desired response. Instead of becoming more animated and launching into a tirade on the love of her life whom she never would have met had it not been for Hogwarts she became suddenly withdrawn and seemed to sober up quite a bit.  
  
"No."  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence between them, and though Minerva had never had any formal Psychological training she could tell that Lena had something bottled deep within herself that she desperately needed to get out.  
  
"Have you seen anyone since Hogwarts?"  
  
"Yeah. Yeah I saw a guy for almost two years after I started Pepperdine but we - it didn't work out."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Lena seemed to consider the question for a moment before standing, swaying only slightly, "I don't really want to talk about him right now. Can we meet for breakfast tomorrow morning?"  
  
"Certainly, dear. Certainly."  
  
"Are we invited as well?"  
  
Both women jumped at the unexpected voice behind them and turned to see Albus and Snape standing side by side, looking every bit like father and sullen son. Lena opened her mouth to answer the question but instead ended up leaning over the stone railing of the steps and heaving the contents of her alcohol-drenched belly onto the lawn.  
  
"Perhaps we'd better plan to meet for lunch instead," Albus said as he sat down beside Minerva and looked up at the stars above them. The old woman grinned and chuckled inwardly, watching with a knowing smile as Snape straightened his old friend up and walked her into the great oak entrance doors and down toward the dungeon, one strong arm laced around her waist and the other holding her arm around his shoulders. She sighed at the thought of the responsibility he had taken on. 'And so young,' she mused.  
  
"You're thinking about something," Albus observed, still watching the heavens.  
  
"Are you sure he's the right person for this, Albus? He's so young. His whole life lays ahead of him." She seemed almost to plead with the old wizard.  
  
"He is the very best person, Minerva. Voldemort would never suspect someone like him of having ties to me. We never even spoke during his time here at Hogwarts. He's given no indication that his loyalties lie with me. He's angry and unhappy already, and that will serve us best. We couldn't very well send a well-adjusted individual to join the Death Eaters could we? They would never survive."  
  
"I hope you're right, Albus. I hope you're right."  
  
"As do I." 


	3. Where Allegiences Lie

"Wake up." Lena heard the words being spoken from above her and felt the gentle shaking that Snape was giving her but she smacked his and away and put her pillow over her face.  
  
"Mwahrgighow."  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Go away!" Lena pulled the pillow off her face long enough to yell those two words and replaced it, immediately regretting doing so. Her head was now throbbing and she whined into the pillow.  
  
However, before she could fall back asleep or even quiet her throbbing head the pillow was lifted from her face and she protested with a long and nasal whine. "Whsonvighoweild."  
  
"I can't hear you when your face is pressed into the mattress."  
  
"I don't want to get up. Leave me alone to die."  
  
"I don't think so. You promised to meet the Headmaster and Minerva and have lunch with them. If I show up without you it may damage my reputation. So get up."  
  
"How is your reputation contingent on my showing up for lunch?"  
  
"The company I choose is a reflection of me. So you're going. And you're going to be charming as well."  
  
"Fuck that. I'm staying right here and I'm going to dash my head on these gloomy stone walls."  
  
"No you aren't."  
  
"Whyeeeeeeeee?" More whining.  
  
"Because I don't feel like picking up little pieces of your brain and cranium off my new carpets. Now get up."  
  
"Listen, Snape. I'm already in the hole for the test you made me miss yesterday. You're damn lucky it's Saturday and I'm not missing more classes right now. You drug me away from home to come and keep you company in your time of dire distress and I'll be damned if you're going to push me around.  
  
"Mobilicorpus" With one quick flick of the wrist Snape had lifted Lena from the comfort of the bed and was sending her straight into the bathroom with his seldom used wand. When he had her directly over the bathtub, which resembled the one in the Prefect's bathroom, he dropped her in. She landed with a splash, her nightdress soaked and her hair clinging to her face.  
  
She sputtered and hissed and had to practically swim to the edge of the tube to stay afloat. Once she had a firm grip on the edge of the tub she turned and cast a hateful look at her old friend. "It's fucking cold in here."  
  
"Could you please watch your language? I really hate that American muggle slang you're always using. Now," he said as he turned and headed for the door. "Get bathed and get dressed, and when you're finished I'll have a hangover remedy brewed and we'll go and meet Minerva and Albus for lunch." With that he shut the door to the bathroom and left a very angry Lena Erikson with no other option but to follow his orders, now she was soaked through anyway.  
  
It was a pleasant lunch. Snape had done well with his first potion in his brand new lab and Lena was able to thoroughly enjoy her afternoon at the castle. Of course he would have been much happier had he been given the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, but after much consolation from Lena and the suggestion that he petition for the job when it came back available, he had accepted his position of Potions Master.  
  
Of course, the new title had earned him much ridicule from his old friend as soon as she had heard it, and she had been all evening telling jokes that seemed to get dirtier and dirtier the drunker she got, but which always involved the word Master in some form or another. When he had asked her to please desist with her juvenile games she asked, "Why? Are you going to give me a detention? Will I have to skin your tubeworm? Or maybe you'll have me dip my ladle in your cauldron. Or will it be the other way around?"  
  
That evening she had settled herself down in front of his fire with one of her favorite books of all time, Fight Club. She was just getting to her favorite part, when Tyler starts recruiting Space Monkeys for Project Mayhem, when Snape sat down beside her and took the book from her hands.  
  
"You have to go."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"I have something I have to do. And I may not be back until early in the morning."  
  
"I don't care. I'll wait. I'll go up and see if Minerva needs any help preparing for start of term."  
  
"No, Lena. You can't stay. What I have to do is between myself and the Headmaster, and I can't risk you or anyone finding about it."  
  
"What is that crap? I've been your best friend - hell, Severus, your only real friend - since we started school here. And now you're kicking me out because you and Albus are having some secret boy scout meeting?"  
  
Lena was becoming more and more furious as this conversation went on. It was no secret to most of the wizarding world that she had been enthralled with Snape since their first year at Hogwarts. In fact, Snape seemed to be the only one who didn't realize it. Miranda had known, that much was sure, and she had hated and resented Lena from the start of her relationship with Severus. In fact they had had to meet in secret since the fourth year, when the two had started dating. But nothing had ever happened between them and Lena sure as hell wasn't about to risk the rejection that she was sure she would face if she ever told Snape how she really felt. But this was ignorant. Whatever he and Albus had to do, surely she could hang around until they were finished. She had classes to get back to on Monday, so it certainly wasn't as if she was about to wear out her welcome.  
  
"Lena, you've got to understand. I can't tell you about this. It's between myself and the Headmaster and -"  
  
"Now, Severus, I don't think it's fair to keep your only friend out of the loop." Both of them turned to see the Headmaster who had let himself in through the slightly open door. "I think it's only fair to tell Lena everything. She cares about you, after all, and I couldn't bear the guilt if something - unfortunate - was to happen to you."  
  
"Unfortunate? Just what the hell are the two of you up to?" Lena was now sitting bolt upright, and looking concernedly between Snape and Dumbledore, both of whom seemed to want the other to start. She obviously had caught on that something was amiss with this situation and it was obvious that now that her interest had been piqued she was not about to give the conversation up.  
  
"Lena," the old man gave in and began, "Snape has accepted more than just a position as an educator at this institution. He has accepted a position that may lead him into danger. As you know -" the old man continued as he took a seat in a chair beside Lena, "Voldemort and his followers are growing in strength as well as in numbers. Those who fight against him find themselves in precarious situations to say the least."  
  
"Well there's no doubt about that. But what does that have to do with you," she asked, turning her attention toward Severus and away from Dumbledore. Severus sighed heavily. This was the last conversation he wanted to have with Lena.  
  
"I've accepted a position in the Order of the Phoenix."  
  
"Order of the whatsits?"  
  
"Phoenix. In this time of growing distress and disruption among the wizarding world I am sad to report that most witches and wizards will either choose one side or the other and fight for that side. Those of us who want to defeat the Dark Lord, to reclaim the wizarding world for ourselves and our children, and to eradicate the fear that Voldemort and his followers have been spreading throughout the country, have banded together. However, we cannot be effective only by participating in stopping present violence. We must discern and prevent future acts of violence as well. That's where Severus comes in."  
  
"I'm going to be a spy. For Dumbledore. I'm going to infiltrate the Death Eaters and report back to him. I'm going to join the Death Eaters, Lena."  
  
The room went suddenly and deadly silent. No one looked at anyone and everyone seemed to realize the seriousness of this business.  
  
"Then I want to help too." Snape looked up at Lena as she said this and shook his head.  
  
"No."  
  
"Don't tell me what to do, Severus. You're not my father -"  
  
"No, but I am old enough to be," Dumbledore interjected, "and I must insist that you stay out of it. This is dangerous business, Lena, very dangerous indeed. The Order currently only has a few straggling members and even they are fearful. I cannot allow you to join unless I can be quite sure that there is a place for you in the order out of harm's way."  
  
Lena could feel tears rising in her eyes but she fought them back, along with the lump in her throat, as effectively as possible. When she spoke her voice was low and husky, but not wavering as it did just before a deluge of tears was let loose.  
  
"Headmaster, may I please stay until he returns? I really -" she paused to hold back a sob, "I really would like to stay."  
  
Dumbledore seemed to consider it and ignored Snape's vigorously shaking head. "Very well, Lena. You may stay and wait for him to return. I daresay we may need your calming presence when he does." With that Albus stood and saw himself out, turning at the door and regarding the pair with a heavy look.  
  
"I shall be waiting in the entrance hall to see you off, Severus, whenever you are ready."  
  
Severus nodded and then turned his attention back to the floor. When the door had clicked shut and they were safely alone in the room Lena abandoned all her senses and indulged in whatever impulses she happened to have. She leaned forward on the loveseat and threw her arms around him, holding him tight to her and sobbing with abandon into his shoulder.  
  
"Don't do this, Severus. Please. Don't do this."  
  
Severus, quite unaccustomed to physical displays of affection, particularly with Lena, who had never liked to be touched, sat still as a deer in the headlights for a moment before turning toward her and wrapping each of his strong arms around her.  
  
"I have to go, Astrid. I have to go."  
  
"Don't call me Astrid," she sobbed into his shoulder, soaking his robes with tears and snot. "And you don't have to. Tell him no. Tell him you can't do it. Tell him you won't."  
  
He laughed despite himself, but no one could have discerned the laugh from a sob. Besides Lena.  
  
"What are you laughing for? This isn't funny, Severus. You could die. You could be tortured. Voldemort isn't stupid. What if he knows what you're up to? What if he sees through you from the off and kills you right then and there?"  
  
"He won't, Astr- Lena. He won't." The embrace lasted a few moments longer before Snape pulled her up to her feet by the biceps and looked her dead in the eyes. Her face was stained with tears and her nose was running. Her hair was clinging to the rivulets of tears running down her cheeks and her eyes were red and puffy.  
  
"Don't go." She whispered.  
  
"I must." And the conversation was over. Lena knew that tone. She knew that when he used it he would accept no dissention. And she knew that it was over.  
  
She drew a shuddering breath and turned her attention to the fire, refusing to look him in the face. "Then I shall wait for you."  
  
Snape nodded curtly before he turned and headed for the door. Lena did not watch him go, but drew her arms protectively around herself and watched the fire burn in the grate. When he reached the door Snape stopped, without turning, and seemed to be considering something. Then, with as much abandon as she had displayed he turned and swept back into the room, took her again around the biceps, and kissed her hard and purposefully on the lips. When he had finished he looked her in the eyes and said, "I shall come back for you." And then he was gone. 


End file.
